With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

"Let's just say I was testing the bounds of reality. I was curious to see what would happen. That's all it was: curiosity.”—Jim Morrison

The ever so mundane ramblings and musings, perhaps the pointless rantings and railings of an existential little nymphet in a constant state of change and transformation, for the sake of hedonism and self-awareness.

"Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to." — Dorian Gray

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity. He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence."— The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

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With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

Thursday, March 18, 2010 || 12:31 AM

We're looking into Jealousy, Toxic Relationships etc.

Lesson of the day?

- Just because it's alright to be jealous, it's not ok to act up on it.

- Monogamy/Exclusivity isn't a cure for jealousy.

- Jealousy isn't another person's fault. It's your own reaction and you are in charge of dealing with it. If your partner is doing something that stirs up jealousy in you, address it, but it's not alright to put ultimatums, or expect the behavior to change. If you do, expect the behavior to resurface, and for resentment to damage the relationship.

- Never use the word 'Fine' in a relationship when you don't mean it. It translates to:
Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional

- While admitting 'I'm jealous' is an excellent step into dealing with the problem, it does not justify your actions, and it most certainly does not mean you're entitled to anything.

- Unless you're well acquainted with Emotional Intelligence be ready for a troublesome relationship.

- It's very hard for a Toxic Relationship to change if both parties aren't willing to cooperate or compromise, and will do more harm than good. They're not worth it.

- You need to be responsible for your own emotions.

- It's all about communication and compromise.

- Never. Ever. Victimize yourself. It's self-mutilation. Doing so only adds to the problem.

- Your partner's reasons are just as valid as yours are. The more open you are to understandingtheir point of view without necessarily 'agreeing' with it, the easier things become to resolve.

- We romanticize jealousy excessively. Jealousy doesn't mean someone 'cares'. It's an act of self-interest, based on fear of loss, threat of being replaced, inadequacy, etc.

- One person will never be able to 'complete' you, of fulfill all your needs. Expecting it, is setting yourself up for disappointment.

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Now, if only I had known this months ago lol.
Would have saved me a whole hell of a lot of heartache.

My bottom life-learned lessons?

- Unless both parties aren't benefitting from the relationship? It's not worth it.

- It's not about what you can take from the relationship, but rather what you can give, so your partner can reciprocate.

- Emotional Vampirism = Bad and unacceptable. Run away before you're dragged into the net.

- It's pointless to be in an established relationship and feel 'threatened' by someone else coming in to your friend/partner's life. They're not seeking to 'replace' you. They're looking for someone different who will feed a side of their personality you can't.

- Communication, Communication, Communication.

- Compromise, Negotiation, Compromise, Compromise.

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I love my life right now. I'm learning so many new things, meeting the most awesome people, and even though I miss drawing, and I miss writing on a regular basis, and I miss talking to friends, the voices get regular attention, I have spring break to look forward to to draw and talk to my peeps, and things are just going great.

I've also been learning a whole hell of a lot myself, and doing a lot of introspecting and improving.

I've got my illness handled at about 90%, being able to handle my episodes without caving in too much, meds are working miracles, and I have no drama or stressors to trigger things aside from school.

I'm really excited about my work, and really excited about being able to practice when I graduate.

Next semester I'll begin taking the classes in sexuality I need to take, and I'm very excited over that as well.

I'm feeling very good about this, because it's something that brings me immense pleasure, and I get to help people with issues I personally care about.