With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

Thursday, January 6, 2011 || 12:22 AM

You know what? You know your characters have way too much control when you're going through drawers at 12:30am, knowing full well you have a blood test to take at 7am, dressing up for no adequately explored reason (no makeup, thankfully), and lapdancing on a whim, simply because one of them suddenly got them in their head that 'Dude. 'Playground Love' would be such an awesome song to lapdance to, simply because of the Lux Lisbon reference in 'Virgin Suicides, and the nymphet connotations.'

I am sure it is apparent who it is that is running the show here.

Finished 'Exit to Eden' again, I'm on my 'I'm marrying Elliot Slater' phase again, and for the first time, he's the type of guy I wouldn't have an affair on. Because with the Winchester boys, I'd marry Sam, but have an affair with Dean. I was tentatively considering marrying Michael Curry from 'The Witching Hour' and having an affair with Elliot, but no. Elliot would just be fun to be with for both.

So it was because I decided to indulge in a bit of escapism, that suddenly everyone just starts talking.

Sebastian is having a conversation with Stella (Francis' mother) that is very relevant, mainly because I know so little about Sebastian before Cass, and even less about him and Stella.

Then, at the same time, Francis is having a conversation with Matthew over the same theme Sebastian and Stella are discussing (which is also very important, because it's a crucial link for me between father and son).

Then, Jeffery is having a conversation with Sam about his years in Seattle, his strained relationship with his sister at the time, and her relationship with Alice, shedding light to a lot of important things that I really want to know.

I'm opening a word document, and as though that isn't enough, Jules barges in, all 'Why hello! I'm awake now, and your whole attention must be devoted to me.' She has absolutely nothing relevant to say about anything, but she's set on getting my attention-- I assume, because I was about to give it to everyone else in terms of priority, her being the last.

So I go 'Ok, Jules. What do you want?"

To my misfortune, earlier that day, I had found 'The Lady of the Camelias' in my magical trunk of books, so she goes 'I want you to read the book ' I ask her if just listening to the audio while I pay attention to someone else will suffice, but she says no. Again, all attention has to be focused on her. Because she's a brat.

So I start reading the book just to please her, and she makes me put the opera on as well, because, you know, she just has to have it on ( Cass, how on earth do you deal with her? ), and I read until she's satisfied, and I'm happily on my way to putting myself down to bed, when... I'm not necessarily feeling anxious, but I want to just walk around, maybe go on the stationary bicycle for a bit to tire myself out so I can essentially go to bed.

To my great, great misfortune, I decide to watch videos of Ian Somerhalder, because he's a gorgeous bastard and I want to find the song he dances to in 'Rules of Attraction', because I dance to it as well while I'm getting dressed (I dance fore everything, really), and somehow Jules wakes up again, because 'Playground Love' by Air comes on, and all these images from the video with the gorgeous Kirsten Dunst come up in my head, and she decides that it would be the perfect song to use for a lapdance.

Mind you, I have never even tried giving a lapdance, though I adore getting them. So there she is, guiding the show, and we're actually fighting over what shoes to wear. I want the boots because they have a higher heel, she wants the stilettos, because she just does. I want black leggings and a black bra, she wants the full-lace stockings and a form fitting dress. You'd think she'd settle for what I want, because I have no form-fitting dresses here (what was I thinking?), but no. Suddenly she wants sheer smoky pantyhose, short navy blue shorts and the back bra.

So in the end, she gets her way, and after we're done, and I'm exhausted, she has the gall to say it was a 'win-win situation'.

This, my friends, is what in Bipolarity we call call a mixed episode pushing more towards mania than anything else; a surge of creativity (hence the active characters) and excess energy, that, when coupled with a writer's mind and his or her independent, self-aware characters, it turns into what just happened.

Had it been full-blown mania, I would have felt drunk without the lightheadedness, and would have been more impulsive and fully willing and accessible to Jules' whims throwing a freaking party in the room for no other reason that it's fun.

Right now, however, it's a mixed episode, so no dancing around.

I really don't want to get my blood drawn.
Just don't.