Seems I’m back to my masochistically manic ways of ‘Why Not?’. Not that it’s a bad thing, given our days of partying have been numbered, and our time has essentially ran out.

Too much violence and insecurity. There was a shooting a couple blocks from the house, for crissakes!

Either way, we went to my cousin’s bowling event, despite the horrid migraine, backlash insomnia, and terrible day I’d had. I was inexplicably manic, so I was in one of those ‘lol I really couldn’t care less’ moods, which kept me in a very good place despite the circumstances.

I was actually very manic. It was strange. No one was awake in the back of my head, but I was just really, really manic.

I was jumping around and dancing like an idiot with my little cousin and whoever else joined, randomly running around form here to there, and I must have had fun, since my ass and my back and my legs and my feet are killing me. And this was without wearing high-heels.

We bowled, and I failed, though I did strike them all out at least one time.

I had hoped for some nymphet mischief to ensue, but since my cousin was there, anytime a guy asked who I was, he gave his ‘She’s my cousin. Off limits’ speech, scaring off any potential candidate.

We left around midnight. I was falling asleep, still had a headache, but my cousin invited me to a reunion at someone’s house, so I said ‘why not?’. It was a miracle they let us go out in the first place, so I might as well enjoy it.

And I mean, a backyard full of strangers, mostly men? Plenty of potential victims.

We knew no one, so we just talked among ourselves, then some of my guy cousin’s friends showed up to say hi, and began to talk to us.

At one point one of them had been making up some story about how he broke his back, but there had been a peculiar bit in his lie, which had called my attention.

I love hearing how men think, so very seriously, I demanded he explain the rationale behind his actions, and the bottom line was, that men hit on a variety of pretty girls at a night club, with the intention to date them, and go out of their way to please them, because they’re aware that the price for getting laid, is engaging into a committed relationship with them.

I was fascinated.

And it makes total sense. Everyone has their price, and for women, more often than not, the only way it’s acceptable for them to put out, is to be in a relationship with the guy. And I have friends like that, and it’s perfectly valid.

For me, a relationship is too much. It would be ideal, because I wouldn’t have to keep myself in check every step of the way, but emotional needs and sexual needs are covered differently, and can be covered by different people. And so my price, is pretty much a level of attachment. A friend I’m attracted to. A friend I love, but I’m not in love with.

If I were in love with the person, the fun would kind of end. Things would mud up the picture with sentimentality, and that’s not a place where I want to be right now. And so fooling around with a pretty girl or a charming guy I’m on equal footing with, and it’s all about play, rather than feeeeelings, is exactly where I want to be right now.

The poor boy heard me say all this, and I could see his eyes widen, his mouth open, and go all ‘I love you D:! You get it, you truly get it! Why can’t more women be like you!’

It was hilarious see his change in attitude and there was a tremendous shift in power. We went from being on the same level, to his losing a couple steps, which made me go all into happy sadist mode (which is why men should never, ever submit to me), and I just went about playing with his head for a minute, before we had to go, and he kept asking for my number, which I didn’t have, and wouldn’tve give out.

It was an interesting night.