Hectic week. Lot’s of changes, too, I will address in bullet point format:

• · Doing great in psych. I’m dropping the med classes, because they’re too much, and interrupting with my functionality, and taking them next semester. My Interview class is the highlight.
• 
  
• · I’m loving what I’m learning, but I’m feeling that existential anxiety that I’m getting nowhere, and that due to the nature of what I want to do— therapy—I won’t be done until I’m 29, by which time, I’ll never get to actually live.
• 
  
• The thing I need to address here is reframe the way I’m viewing things. Look at the bigger picture, and keep things in perspective.
• 
  
• 
  
• · This weekend I realized that I can’t do my practice here. The place is far too sex negative. The cases are interesting, as are the issues to be addressed, but I just can’t work in this context. It kills me inside. I had to deal with being everybody’s therapist this weekend, and I had to be very careful with how I addressed things. I had to use the frame of reference I was given, and craft out solutions for those specific cases within that particular context and its limitations. I did it. I had no trouble doing it, it just killed my soul a little bit.
• 
  
• I want to deal with alternative lifestyles. I don’t mind dealing with vanilla couples and helping them out with their sex lives, but I want to do it in a sex-positive manner. I want to help couples improve their relationships and their sex-lives. I want to help people break off with inhibitions and sex-negative thoughts.
• 
  
• · Somehow, I came across a Love Coaching thing where you can get certified to practice. Since it’s a long distance course, I can do it on my own time. It can take me 3 months, maybe 1 year depending on how much work I put into it, then can get certified as a Loveologist and help people with their love-lives and improve their relationships.
• 
  
• I wasn’t taking it seriously, until I realized it’s an actual job.
• 
  
• · Then I came across Sex Coaching, and got a book on it which gives and in-depth job description. That is exactly what I want to do. So I’m doing Love Coaching first, then investing in Sex Coaching.
• 
  
• A key element in the way I deal with people, is in a therapy context. So I need to do therapist thing as well. So I could just certify myself as a Love/Sex Coach and live off of that. But I want to treat people. I want to do therapy. It’s key for me. So I have to go through the 8 years of schooling for it, since there’s no technical school for it.
• 
  
• By doing the Love/Sex Coaching, I have a means to make money off of something I love to do, while I work for my therapy license.
• 
  
• The Loveology course is paid for already. The Sex Coaching courses, it seems it would be more or less the equivalent of 6 months studying in Canada. So I would have to work over a year, before being able to pay for that.
• 
  
• · Addressing the context issue—I need a sex-positive place to practice. I was thinking Seattle, but the US doesn’t really work for me. S said Canada is relatively sex-positive, especially in key cities. I’m thinking of doing my practice somewhere in there.
• 
  
• · Not gonna lie. I’m antsy, I’m a bit existential. I want to get out of here. I want to live my life. But then I stop and think—this is your life. Quit going for what you think it ‘should be’, and deal with what is, and make things within your reach as pleasant as possible. Everything is such a damn race, this compulsive yearning to skip to the next level, because in the next level is where you’ll be happy.
• 
  
• Stop. Take a freaking chill pill. Do the psych thing, work on the loveology thing on the side, take your time, then go for sex coaching. It’s not a race, it’s not like dropping out and confusing on these short-term gratification courses will change the fact that you live in a specific reality which forces you to stay in this place. The best you can do is make things tolerable, and 90% of that is attitude, so it’s all re-framing how I look at things.