With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

"Let's just say I was testing the bounds of reality. I was curious to see what would happen. That's all it was: curiosity.”—Jim Morrison

The ever so mundane ramblings and musings, perhaps the pointless rantings and railings of an existential little nymphet in a constant state of change and transformation, for the sake of hedonism and self-awareness.

"Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to." — Dorian Gray

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity. He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence."— The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

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With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

Tuesday, June 7, 2011 || 12:15 PM

I think I’m almost back to normal. Yesterday I watched the end of Wolf’s Rain again, and it triggered that obsessive compulsive thought pattern I get when I’m working on a story. Suddenly I found it relating to this really old Gothic Romance story I only wrote a few pages of, and started to discover new things about some characters.

I was very surprised to suddenly engage in that type of behavior again, because it means there’s a spark of creativity.

Just the plotting, the note-taking, going over potential scenes and overall structure in my head. That’s the initial part of the spark. Thinking in terms of visual imagery, of irony— this is what I missed. I missed my mind obsessing over something not related to me, in my head.

Because that’s essentially what the characters (who are still not talking) and the stories do. They take my obsessive compulsive behavior and channel it elsewhere. It takes the lime light off of me (which is exhausting) onto obsessing, breaking down and psychoanalyzing something else.

Almost over this.