With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

"Let's just say I was testing the bounds of reality. I was curious to see what would happen. That's all it was: curiosity.”—Jim Morrison

The ever so mundane ramblings and musings, perhaps the pointless rantings and railings of an existential little nymphet in a constant state of change and transformation, for the sake of hedonism and self-awareness.

"Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to." — Dorian Gray

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Prudence is a rich ugly old maid courted by Incapacity. He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence."— The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

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With a Sense of Poise and Rationality

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 || 12:16 AM

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks. I feel like that song, ‘Playground Love’ by Air. Just very chill and content. I think it’s pretty safe to say I’ve recovered the stability I lost since February and reached its peak in May.

Yes, it was attained through shameless escapism in the form of standard nymphet behavior (Best. Behavior. Ever) in what will soon be 20 wonderful days, but as always the price of happiness is being willing to pay with an equal amount of discontent.

It’s safe to say that that February-Mid-May span was a valid price for how happy I am right now.

I’m just happy. Genuinely happy. Not the chemical imbalance that is hypomania, just really content.

Everyone is leaving, everyone is moving on, I will more than likely won’t see everyone gathered in one same place again, and it’s OK.

Dynamics are changing, evolving, people meet, people part, people change and it’s all OK.

This year I lose the last generation of friends that still remained in high school and none of it stings. I’m thrilled for them, thrilled for myself. We're all moving forward, we're all getting somewhere.

For someone as emotionally invested in them as myself, it feels strange to say that.

I haven't had this much stability in all my relationships ever. I like this.

The voices are still quiet. The most bizarre thing though has been how life has been imitating art again. Dynamics, behavior, overall circumstances characteristic, and pretty much exclusive to them have been translating to my day-to-day life. It doesn’t cease to go over my head.

I love it.

I love how nonchalant my gang is, and how we all just somehow grew up to be nymphets and kinksters (with a bit of encouragement on my part, of course).

I love you guys.